Kid Avengers!
by Mother Rue
Summary: In another universe, there exists a world where all our favourite heroes are growing up and attending elementary school. What sort of adventures await young Tony as he goofs around with his friends and as he grows older? Discussion with aliens becomes the topic when Tony invites Peter Guardian over for a playdate.
1. Family-Off! Coulsons vs Xaviers

"My dad is cooler than your dad," Tony Coulson decided as he sat beside Scott Xavier. The two were sitting alongside the sidewalk, both eating a popsicle. It was a warm, sunny summer day, so they were attempting to cool off without having to strip and dump themselves into the Xavier pool, where all the older Xavier kids currently were. "He works for the school board of the school we're going to."

"That's nice," Scott smirked. "But my dad can read your dad's mind and get all his secrets and stuff."

"My dad doesn't have any cool powers, but he once stopped a gas station robbery by throwing flour at the guy's head," Tony said then, attempting with all his might to beat Scott at this game.

"As if!"

"It's true! Bruce and Steve and Thor were there, they saw it all! It was before me and the twins, you see."

"That means it happened at least ten years ago. You're eight and they're nine, and that's nearly impossible. That's forever ago," Scott said, not believing a single word.

Tony sighed. Oh well, at least he felt that his dad was cooler than Scott's dad. There was nothing wrong with that.

* * *

"My dad has a licence to have a gun, did you know that?" Tony asked Scott one day on the school bus to school. "Steve says that it's because he was in the law enforcement job once."

"Did you know my dad was once part of a mutant rebellion?" Scott asked, as Tony's face fell. "That's why he's in the wheelchair."

* * *

Eventually, they switched to trying to one-up each other by selling off their siblings' secrets to each other. "Clint and Natasha can shoot each other's peashots out of the air!"

"Kitty once left her toothbrush inside of Hank," Scott said.

Tony faltered. "How...?"

Scott started snickering. "She can phase through things, right? Well once, when getting ready for first grade, she was brushing her teeth and bumped into Hank, and accidentally left her toothbrush behind inside of his stomach."

Clint&Natasha Coulson vs. Kitty Xavier somehow didn't go the way Tony had planned. The sad part was Kitty was seven, not nine.

* * *

"Bruce has this special power where, whenever he gets really, really mad, he turns into raging green monster!" Tony said to Scott the next day during lunch with Peter Guardian, Jean Grey and Ororo and Remy LeBeau. "He loses control of himself so much and he nearly trashes the whole house, and the only one in our family able to even go one on one with him, is Thor!"

"Hank is always in his beast form," Scott pointed out. "And he has control over it. Trumped!"

"What... What are you guys doing?" asked Jean.

"Yes, you've been doing this all week," Ororo complained. Remy nodded in agreement.

"We're having a family-off," Tony explained. "I've been trying to one-up his family with my family but everything I say he has something else to say to it!"

"In other words, Jean," Scott said as he ate his sandwich. "The Xaviers have been winning to the Coulsons according to us."

"The Xaviers are all mutants, no?" Remy asked his adoptive sister. "Remy pretty sure the Coulson's all regular, average humans."

"They are," Ororo groaned. "This is pointless."

"Just wait until I bring up Steve!" Tony huffed.

Peter Guardian smirked then, putting down his sandwich and rolling up his sleeve to show a series of scars that looked like teeth marks. Everyone stared in awe at these marks, before they looked up at the still grinning Peter.

"My baby brother bites," he announced. "Sometimes, there's even blood."

The Guardians won that day.


	2. Dodgeball and Sibling Tiffs

Mr. Fitz and Miss Simmons stepped up before their third grade elementary students. The two were looking so dramatic that the third graders didn't even know what to do except watch as the two of them pulled out soft, cushiony balls and gave the children each an evil grin. Tony's heart sank as he realized the horrible, horrible truth of today's gym class.

He turned to Scott. Scott turned to him.

"_Dodgeball._"

The horrors of today were just beginning.

"It will be girls vs boys!" Mr. Fitz announced, and he and his assistant Miss Simmons stepped out of the way to allow the class to divide itself between the girls and the boys on each side. "You all know the rules of dodgeball! It begins, _now_!"

* * *

Earlier today, Tony would never suspect that his day was going to be ruined with dodgeball. He did know that Remy and Ororo, however, were having sibling tiffs all day, usually created by Ororo:

"Remy didn't take Stormy's bag this morning!"

"Yes you did, Remy, don't lie to me!"

"Remy's not lying!"

And sometimes, they would go:

"Miss Simmons, Remy pulled my hair!"

"Remy did what?! Remy's all the way over here, Stormy!"

And even then, sometimes:

"Remy's touching me!"

"Remy's all whole three feet away from you, Stormy!"

* * *

It got so bad, Scott and Jean plotted both of their deaths. That is, until Tony pointed that Ororo was the one starting all the tiffs.

"What's that about anyway?" he pondered to Scott and Jean. "I don't understand those two."

"I kind of see her point about the backpack one," Scott pointed out. "Remy has a tendency to run off with her stuff without realizing it."

"But the thing is that he didn't take her bag this morning, she simply forgot it," Jean sighed. "Their mom even showed up with it after lunch being all, 'oh, little forgetful 'Ro forgot her bag today' and stuff like that." She huffed and looked between the two. "Please tell me this is not just them and your siblings do it too."

"Nat once accused Clint for stealing a cookie," Tony brought up. "But he was responsible for it."

"Hank and Bobby are always at it," Scott added.

The three frowned amongst each other. They had to fix this.

* * *

Of course, all three forgot it was a Thursday and that meant _Dodgeball Thursday_. With Ororo on the girl's side glaring daggers at her brother, and Remy looking like a terrified wet dog on the boy's side, they all knew what was about to happen. The poor eight year olds would never know how this was going to go down without lightning flashing and something exploding. The entire room just silenced, and everyone froze, unsure of what to do. Tony could see the Wilson twins slowly backing away from Remy, who they had happened to be standing near, and he found himself backing up near Scott.

"Dude," he could hear Peter Guardian say to Wade Wilson. "Remy is a _dead man_."

"Ten bucks says Ororo just aims at him throughout the whole game even after he's out," Wade decided to say.

"_Wade_, we don't bet on our classmates' lives, and you know it!" the other Peter, Peter Wilson, said. "Aunt May would be so mad at you!"

"Whatever," was Wade's response._  
_

"So, do we just hang out over here, then?" Scott asked, and Tony looked around. The five of them were surely safe over here as Ororo whipped dodgeballs at Remy, which was really all that was going on.

"... Yeah, I say so."

* * *

"So, Remy." Tony, Peter Guardian, and Scott sat down at one of the lunch tables with Remy, who was looking kind of upset. "What did you do to 'Ro?"

"Remy have no clue," muttered the cajun eight year old. "All Remy did was wake up this morning, turn on some cartoons, she got up, and she was mad at poor Remy."

"_HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID,_" hollered Ororo from the other side of the lunch room. The boys all looked over at the girls' table before glancing at each other.

"She's worse than my older sister," Peter stated, before shivering slightly as if over some distant memory.

"I would laugh if this was over him turning on the wrong cartoon channel this morning," Scott said.

* * *

Tony never did find out what was up with Ororo that day, as she was perfectly fine the next day and she and Remy were back to teasing each other and cheering on other people's arguments like they always did. Siblings were _weird_.


	3. Principle in the Classroom

There was a visitor in the class, today. Tony wasn't sure why the principal was suddenly sitting in the very back at one of the desks, but he knew that it looked seriously weird and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. Mr. Fitz and Miss Simmons started the day as normal. They didn't even comment as Tony watched as the principal took out a clipboard and began to write down a few notes.

"Just ignore it," Scott advised. "Maybe he's here for like, a teacher check-up or something."

Peter Guardian turned his head around to talk to them as well. "My mom has people that come to check on our house and how we're doing, sometimes she gets in trouble and has to change things around. Other times they just leave us alone. They sometimes ask my older brother and sister weird questions about me and our little brother, or how we're doing. It's weird, but it only happens once every few months."

The other two gave him weird looks. Eventually, Tony asked, "Why does your mom have to get house checks?"

"I don't know," was Peter's answer. "I'm eight."

* * *

The principal, in his big brown coat and creepy eye-patch of mystical power, followed the class during all their activities that day, even wandering around the class with the teachers during group work to help and see if everyone was doing the appropriate work (which the Wilson twins were not). Tony and Scott just tried their best to look busy as the principal passed by them, stopping by Peter's group to ask him a quick question. Tony watched the principal as closely as he could. It was so weird to see him in a classroom.

"What do you think it's really about?" Scott asked. "The principal being here."

"Maybe he's seeing how well Mr. Fitz and Miss Simmons do their job," Tony figured. "Dad said that he gets people who come in to see how he's working at his desk job, too. I didn't know people barged in to check out your regular life, too. We haven't had anybody like that."

"But your dad has a steady job and was married once," Scott pointed out. "And my dad runs an academy and a foster home. What does Peter's mom do?"

Tony's face sprang up to look at Scott. "... I don't know. We've never even met her."

* * *

The principal was talking with the teachers during recess. Tony and Scott, playing detective, were watching them from the window trying to see if they could hear what they were up to. It seemed whatever they were talking about had something to do with files and paperwork, and overwhelming paperwork at that. They couldn't hear anything that was being said, though, and they sighed, resigning to the fate of not knowing what was going to happen to Mr. Fitz and Miss Simmons.

"What are you two doing?"

Turning away from the wall, the two discovered that Jean Grey stood there, flanked by Pepper Potts and Mary-Jane Watson. Tony nearly had a heartattack. What were they doing here?

"We, uh..." Scott began. "We wanted to see if we could hear what they were talking about."

"It's none of your business what they're talking about, Scott," Pepper scoffed. "It's no one's but theirs."

"We're just curious," Tony tried.

"It doesn't matter, Tony," Jean sighed. "Maybe we'll find out later, maybe we never will. But right now? Let's just enjoy recess."

* * *

Tony pondered and pondered all day, but he never came to an answer. All he knew was the principal was there and he was creepy. Eventually, near the end of the school day, he just got up and snuck out through the back door that led into the hall. Some of the children including Scott and Tony watched him leave, but no one pondered over it. Tony bit his lip. What was going to happen?

He looked between his different classmates. The Wilson Twins were secretly playing video games, hiding the consoles in their desks as they always did. Mary-Jane and Pepper were trading notes, while Jean was taking notes using her telekinetic powers. Anne-Marie was poking fun at Remy, who was trying his best to ignore it, and Ororo looked ready to whack Anne-Marie for it. Tony turned around to see Scott and Peter, and saw that Scott was simply doing his work, while Peter was looking out the window, massaging one of his new teeth marks courtesy of his baby brother.

Tony gulped.

* * *

The next day, Mr. Fitz and Miss Simmons stepped into class almost looking relieved with each other and even hugging each other out of excitement. The class was also excited, they got to keep their awesome teachers! As Mr. Fitz explained that he and Simmons were undergoing a special examination yesterday and had to run the class has normal, Miss Simmons began to write down the lesson plan for today.

Tony was happy, too. He quite liked his teachers, after all.

The class continued on as normal, everyone happy that the examination had gone well. Tony and Scott high-fived, even if they hadn't figured out what Principal Fury was doing in the class yesterday, at least their efforts didn't mean that they lost their teachers. Turning around to see the rest of the class, he saw that they were just as excited, being diligent with their work for once (except the Wilson twins).

It was a good day.


	4. Aliens: Real, Or Not?

Sometimes, Tony didn't get a ride in to school from his dad. Sometimes, he and his older siblings would all walk to school. Sometimes, during those walks, he'd get to talk to his siblings and just enjoy their company. Considering that Bruce, Thor and Steve were all older than him and the twins and didn't often hang out with them, it was a nice change. So, as the wonderful group of six siblings wandered down the street toward the school, they all talked about this and that.

"I think my friend Peter Guardian doesn't want me to ever visit, ever," Tony huffed to his siblings. "He hasn't ever invited me over like Scott Xavier does, like, every other weekend, and then the same for me to him."

Bruce glanced down at his youngest brother with as soft a smile as he could muster. "Maybe he's embarrassed about his family. He's the one with the little brother that bites, right?"

"Yeah," Tony confirmed. "He leaves quite the teeth marks, too! Like his little brother has really sharp teeth or somethin'..."

"Whatever," chimed the twins in unison. Natasha rolled her eyes and Clint crossed his arms.

"Guess he just doesn't consider you an awesome friend," Clint taunted.

"Like the kind of friend that he'll invite over to his weird family," Natasha continued.

"Have you not invited this Peter Guardian to our home?" Thor butted in. The group stopped and Tony looked up at his older brother in surprise. The answer was no, Tony had never invited Peter over. "Perhaps you should invite him first before he considers inviting you over to his home."

"I think I will!" Tony decided. "Do you think Dad would let me?"

"Sure," Steve offered. "I don't see why he'd have a problem with it."

* * *

"Wait, you want me to go over to your place so we can hang out and do the stuff we already do here?" Peter asked, horribly confused. "Is this like, a New York City thing, or...?"

Scott gave him a wary look, narrowing his eyes behind his ruby-lens glasses. "Sometimes, I just think that you're an alien."

Peter gave him an insulted expression. Scott shrugged at him, looking away immediately. What he said was honest! There was no reason to be hostile!

Tony simply groaned. "Come on, just do it? I have all the latest game consoles and my dad always gets the best games for us."

Peter crossed his arms and huffed. "Well, I guess if there's games... I'll see if my mom says yes."

"Sweet!" Tony chimed, writing down the home phone number of the Coulson household. "Your people call my people once it's clear?" He said this as he held out the slip of paper, which Peter took with a smile.

"It's a deal."

* * *

"Coulson household, this is Phil talking," stated Tony's dad as he answered the phone the very next day. It was the weekend, and it was a beautiful day. He sat there on his porch, a book in his hand. All six of his children were out playing in the front yard. "Ah, Mantis Guardian, how pleasant to hear from you. How did your last inspection go?" Of course he knew the resident alien inhabitant of Earth in New York City, but no one really needed to know that. "That's good to hear. I hear that Tony wishes to invite Peter over, is that true?"

The entire group fooling around in the yard stopped to watch him as he stood up, phone to his ear and as he watched Tony specifically.

"I'm glad that you're agreeing to this," Coulson mentioned, before Mantis Guardian continued once again in his ear. "You're free to bring the others if you wish. Though, I hear your youngest bites..." Mantis then said something that caused him to laugh. "... I see. That's fine, in the end it's up to you."

After a quick chat with Mantis Guardian concerning her children and her plans that the kids didn't understand, Coulson hung up and stepped up to his children with a smile. "We're going to have a guest tonight."

* * *

Peter showed up in a mauve van with darkly tinted windows. He said goodbye to his mother in the driver's seat, and then said goodbye to someone in the backseat whom apparently needed slight baby talk tone and a quick hug. Then, with a backpack slung over his shoulder, Peter walked up to the front door where Coulson and Tony were waiting, and gave a smile to both of them.

"Come on!" Tony chirped. "Let's play some video games!"

As he led Peter into the house, the second youngest Guardian held up his bag. "My mom let me bring some games, too, so let's see what you've got and I've got!"

"Awesome!"

* * *

Peter's games were just as cool as his own, Tony decided. As they played various fighting games and adventure games, the two quite enjoyed their visit. Eventually, they were having a chat while playing an two-player adventure game together. It was a game themed around the LEGO playsets, and this particular game was for a trilogy of movies they had recently watched together.

"So, Tony, I have to ask you something," Peter brought up as he had his character fire arrows into targets. "It's actually kind of serious."

"Shoot," was Tony's single word response as his own character attacked rocks.

Peter visibly gulped as his character turned around. "... What do you think about aliens?"

"Aliens?" Tony paused the game. "What do aliens have to do about anything?"

Peter looked down at his controller. "Well, if you met one, what would you do?"

"If I met one?" Tony looked up at the ceiling, a thoughtful look on his face. "I guess I would ask them tons of questions. Like, what's their planet like, what kind of seasons they've got, what school's like or stuff like that. Be interested in their culture."

"So you wouldn't be mad at them if they were living on your planet?" Peter asked. "If they were staying in your city and attending your school?"

"What'd be so bad about that?" Tony asked in response. "I think it'd be pretty cool. Why?"

"Well, maybe my mom is an alien. And maybe my brothers and my sister are, too. And maybe I'm an alien, too."

Tony looked over at him in surprise. "Wait, so you're _really_ an alien?"

Peter nodded. "We're all aliens."

There was a moment of silence. And then, to Peter's surprise, Tony grinned. "_Cool._"

And Peter Guardian's response was laughter.


End file.
